@IamEnidColeslaw: who is Godzilla's least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW
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@YourFavMexi_Can: "I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook.
@LoveNLunchmeat: My kid asked how the Easter bunny gets inside the house and I'm very uncomfortable with the amount of lying this parenting gig requires.
@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*
@Tmoney68: When someone tells me, "I think of you as family," I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago.