@daemonic3: Who is the idiot that called it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
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@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@RefractReality: I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: What do u wish for? WIFE [smiles at me] That we regain the passion & intimacy of our early years together ME: A penguin butler