@daemonic3: Who is the idiot that called it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
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@djdarrellripley: *At The Opera* Her: Where are you going? Me: I have to go to the Men's Room. Her: I have the car keys. Me: Shit!
@WakeVII: Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'(
@redherringbear: If you believe you can pass a drug test by drinking large amounts of water, you're just diluting yourself.
@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(