@unravelingfire: Someone send Kendall Jenner onto a United flight with a Pepsi, stat.
@JustinGuarini: Every day I try to learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
@GrantTanaka: having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler
@TheCatWhisprer: Babies are okay if you're into alarm clocks that poop.
@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.