@AnOrangeSNES: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, the pH level of a pineapple can not sustain life.
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@iRandumbs: If I learned anything from Forest Gump it's that people who love to run are retarded.
@Ristolable: According to Facebook a bunch of handsome dudes got together and decided to marry all my ex-girlfriends
@Reverend_Scott: Throwing pregnancy tests into the shopping carts of random couples at Walmart is the only silver lining in my day.
@Book_Krazy: [Pours goldfish into aquarium] You're free now "Mom? You know those are just crackers, right?"