@Matt_the_1st: Who me? Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.
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@rockymomax: [ultrasound] DOCTOR: oh my god! HER: what's wrong? DOCTOR: Ok don't panic but it looks as though you swallowed a baby
@ElizaBayne: Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW
@TheDjinnTrials: I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes
@armyVet1972: I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle.