@mayamanion: Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.
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@AristotlesNZ: Don't worry, dude, You're fine. I'm pretty sure you need a personality first before it can have a disorder.
@Darlainky: Friend: Get anything for Valentine's Day? Me: Chocolate-covered strawberries and wine. Friend: Did you get him anything? Me: No, I spent all my money on my strawberries and wine.
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Congratulations on becoming a master criminal. Cousin: I earned a master’s degree in criminology. Me: So do you get a bigger share of the loot from heists now or what?