@bggas400: Who the hell came up with 'prolly' for probably?
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@david8hughes: [calls 911] Me: my wife's been bitten by a snake Operator: ok, suck the poison out Me [whispering]: dude there'll be nothing left of her
@AaronFullerton: 1938: "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's... Superman!" 2013: "Is that a drone?" "Yeah, it's probably a drone."
@NickSchug: I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote "dentists are liars" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that.
@JonnyStallone: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen"