@chanelpuke: WHO WAS THE PERSON WHO PASSED UP THE CHANCE TO CALL GERMAN CURRENCY GERMONEY
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@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.
@TeaPainUSA: Mike Huckabee calls Obama a "pretend Christian", and if anyone's an expert on "pretend Christians", it's Mike Huckabee.
@wesjohnson8: The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.