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@CulturedRuffian: For Lent I've decided to give up my New Year's Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies.
@juliussharpe: The ending of "Romeo and Juliet" is only sad if you think two fourteen year-olds should have gotten married.
@Ristolable: I like my women like I like my coffee. I look at coffee but I am afraid to talk to it
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody