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@Ygrene: [first date] DATE: so you love dogs? ME: yes, I relate to them very much DATE: aww that's swee- [a fly buzzes my head and I try to bite it]
@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!
@LackOfShame: Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company
@RegularFred: [Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]