@WorldofWid: Whoever called it a "dust bunny" was in a super good mood.
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@Smethanie: I texted someone "hell yeah," but autocorrect changed it to "hell year" because even our phones know.
@bobbiejo448: 5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world.
@moose_chocolate: Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be.
@DanMentos: Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto