@WorldofWid: Whoever called it a "dust bunny" was in a super good mood.
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@djdarrellripley: It turns out condoms aren't 100% effective, unless you actually take them out of your wallet...
@CerebralWreck: Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.
@TheAlexNevil: You know, one day auto correct will completely collapse, and that day will be gloria’s!!