@WorldofWid: Whoever called it a "dust bunny" was in a super good mood.
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@kidphonic: Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me "mom" ever since.
@robfee: Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops
@SamuelHLowe: How many "I hate you, you insensitive asshole" equals one "I love you"? Please say 57.
@mrtruthandsoul: "Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"