@JaneBadall: Whoever coined the term Downward Spiral should have made it sound a lot less fun.
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@danjan13: Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know.
@HomeProbably: I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is.
@JermHimselfish: I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.
@politicalmath: I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.