@4ScoreN20Bowls: Whoever decided to spell it Albuquerque instead of Albakirky. You're a fuquing quoqusuquer
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@Jenny4ashley: I almost drowned trying to swim today. The security guard didn't even care he just told me to get the hell out of the mall fountain.
@jaaaaaayyyyyyyy: Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*
@Emperor_Laykes: One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.