@4ScoreN20Bowls: Whoever decided to spell it Albuquerque instead of Albakirky. You're a fuquing quoqusuquer
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WowYoureFunny: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!
@WritePlay: MAN: I'll get pasta & she'll have the salad COW: What's that mean? MAN: Uh- COW: I'm fat? MAN: ... You're a cow? PIG AT NEXT TABLE: Ooo
@Alex_LaVallee: Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans.
@kcmoore51: *puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*