@inmybox07: Whoever designated mini cupcakes as "two-bite" has greatly underestimated my #cupcake eating abilities.
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@GrantTanaka: the year is 2046: leggings & cargo shorts have become sentient, the world is very different but we're all pretty comfy
@sixfootcandy: Him: No more coffee for you. Me: "Why? I'm fine," I say while detailing the neighbor's car.
@caperbc75: "Hey Frosty, calm down on the snacks. You're getting fat. Check out this six pack! You could do laundry on it!" - the Abdominal Snowman