@Josievorenkamp: Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.
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@psybermonkey: Me: *practices best man speech while shaving in front of mirror* Driver's ed instructor: stop the car
@KKAlThani: My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell "OMG! I'm on my way now!" & tell them my brother had a bad car accident.
@TheOneTrueDisco: Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.