@Josievorenkamp: Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.
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@Crutnacker: Biden: I took a Staples red button & wrote "Nukes" on it Obama: Joe! Biden: Tweets to him in Russian when pressed
@aRealLiveGhost: anti-tattoo people saying "my body's a temple" like they wouldn't worship at a temple that had an enormous mural of a tiger fighting a cobra
@junejuly12: Apparently "if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly" was not the tip this waitress was expecting.