@WilliamAder: Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back.
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@1Happytwit: HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me.
@girl_a_whirl: Giving birth? Passing a gallstone? Monica Seles tennis match? Possible scenarios from sounds emitted from chic on elliptical next to me
@girlontapas: My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit.
@P0tterhead_394: "You have a very large package downstairs." I really need to work on how I word things to the men around this office.