@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.
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@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@TheBoydP: Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex...
@samfromks: Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door.
@tastefactory: Mr. Webb, what is the greatest threat to national security? "The dinosaurs in Jurassic World, they always seem to get out"