@Dutch_50: Whoever invented the carpet sweeper probably died laughing.
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@jergarl: After 10 years of marriage I've composed a check list of good reasons to get married. 1) Your family is being held hostage. 2) 3)
@weinerdog4life: As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit
@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.