@Dutch_50: Whoever invented the carpet sweeper probably died laughing.
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@garrettbarry70: A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again.
@lilgapeach30: Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life.
@_NTFG_: Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes.
@david8hughes: [at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. "He's a cat though." [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?