@daplusk: Whoever invented the forklift over estimated the weight of forks
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@hippieswordfish: ME: help someone caught my wife in a big net 911: where M: between 2 trees in our yard 911:a hammock? M: idk what his name is just send help
@shkeeber: If you have a family member you that you never want to see again, loan them some money.
@Cheeseboy22: If I wanted to drive my wife insane, I'd secretly raise a colony of bees & place one new bee inside of her car each morning for ten years.
@Donna_McCoy: You think a person loves you and then they up and bring a grocery store cake to your birthday party.