@1MeLrO: Whoever just called my mom 3 minutes after she called me
You are a God!
@corinnemlwsw: I call my husband current...
He likes it better than number two.
@discountzen: I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police.
@nigelgodwin: I bought myself one of those "off road vehicles" last week...
Paid $3000 for it, got it home and found out it was a Canoe!!!
@Bmittone: A cop pulled me over and said 'papers' I said 'scissors' and drove off. I win.
@KizerBillhelm: Whatever, Usain Bolt. I've been finishing in under 10 seconds for years.