@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
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@doktorj: Enhanced interrogation idea: If waterboarding isn't working, try having my mother brush their hair.
@jenstatsky: FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
@ericONEderful: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.