@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
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@Eightinchgoat: When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It's done, but there's blood everywhere!"
@mommy_cusses: When one door opens, another one opens, and then another, and another. Because kids.
@laurenmacdonald: Americans should be asking Santa for better presidential candidates and nothing else.
@slimmy_shady: I hate when I give people nicknames like "stupid face" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is.