@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
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@lazerdoov: *on a first date* Her: so nice to finally be out with someone normal Me: aw thanks *turns to the waiter* Me: do you have pony meat
@ruinedpicnic: me: did you check the suggestion box boss: we don't have a suggestion box we have a paper shredder me: MY DRAWINGS
@CulturedRuffian: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.