@_odlanyeR: Whoever named the ewe really didn't like female sheep
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@TheCiscoKidder: Mom: Some stranger keeps answering your land line. Me: That's because I haven't had a land line in 7 years, Ma.
@stockejock: What do we want? ROCK HARD ABS! When do we want them? THE DAY AFTER THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!
@DamonHunzeker: Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater.
@TheMainlandBlog: If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for.