@AnOrangeSNES: Whoever named the White House and the Pentagon also probably named oranges.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
@JediGigi: Boss: I need you to come into work at 7 instead of 9 tomorrow. Me: Can't. Boss: Why? Me: I'll be asleep until 8:30.
@psybermonkey: [First date] Her: I love to travel. Me: *stands up with basketball* I don't think this is gonna work.
@shutupmikeginn: Job Posting: local pond looking to hire tadpole, must have previous experience as frog