@fro_vo: whoever named them missiles wasn't very optimistic
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@JasonLastname: First thing on my bucket list is to jump off a cliff and the rest are just tricks I'll do in the air.
@chadchaines: "I just can't wait to hear the audible gasps of amazement from everyone who enters my house." -Me after spending 6 minutes cleaning
@RdrJay47: [Calls Ex-Girlfriend] Remember all those hair-ties and Bobby pins you lost? Well, I found all 5,000 while moving.
@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.