@donni: Whoever named them "sugar cookies" could've tried a little harder.
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@Puncroaker: I think my wife is having an affair, for two years she claims to have been going to classes, yet still can't speak a word of Zumba.
@billwurtz: pre-crashed car! already crashed. don't have to worry about crashing it, car cannot crash. can't drive it (no wheels) wheels fell of in crash. also just replaced the brakes, brakes work perfectly now
@Donnie_Fairburn: Her: Let's go see 50 Shades of Grey Me: Tonight? Her: Yes [After the movie] Her: OMG that was so hot! Me: Mom, please just stop talking
@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".