@GrandadJFreeman: Whoever said "money doesn't grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
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@dinnersruined: How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with? Me: *names two of them*
@InternetHippo: before twitter: i’m the most miserable person on earth after twitter: i’m…not even in the top 50%
@AimeeHelene1: *walks into door on street, looks around* Whew...no one saw me... One year later... *watching TV* *sees self on Funniest Videos*