@GrandadJFreeman: Whoever said "money doesn't grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
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@That_Damn_Duck: I've never once used the "C word" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts.
@ThaJawn: Interviewer: Please take off your sunglasses.. Me: Nah, I'm afraid you'll see how high I am
@Aspersioncast: What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death.
@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]