@TheBoydP: Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex...
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@mattingebretson: Whenever someone starts checking their phone when I'm talking to them I like to regain their attention by combing their hair
@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
@EliTerry: Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy.