@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.
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@sofarrsogud: Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@bobsin: Manslaughter: I always used to read it as 'man's laughter'. Seems oddly appropriate for someone who's got away with murder...