@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.
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@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.
@hippieswordfish: *bank* 'miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding' *twirls hair* oh yeah? well i think your debt is pretty cool too
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at gym] *spends 45 minutes untangling headphones *drops phone, squats to pick it up Phew! Good workout! *leaves
@Robert_Beau: Me: 911? My wife and I have been in an accident and she hit the windshield! 911: How's her head? Me: Her sister's better.