@slaughthie: Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say "well, she was always kind of like this."
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@armyantstudios: My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988.
@ItsAndyRyan: Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years Me: That's a long sentence! Judge: Ok - "you get 10 years"
@BarryVonAwesome: If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone "Hiiiiiiiiya" You're doing it wrong
@LizHackett: I once saw a real bear in the wild and said "Aww, look at him!" What I'm saying is, don't turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency.