@MomOnFire: Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to "air quote," I need to speak with you privately.
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@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.
@lazerdoov: I wanna be rich enough to have 11 midgets who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast
@MavenofHonor: When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station