@MomOnFire: Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to "air quote," I need to speak with you privately.
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@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
@SwedishCanary: Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in this house I haven't met yet.
@mrtruthandsoul: Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
@Reverend_Scott: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" From mommies. "How do they get inside?" CAN'T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN'T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT