@GrillinChillin9: Whoever the first person was to throw shit in to a fan must have had a lot of explaining to do afterwards.
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@kentgrossarth: 'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please?' 'Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'
@Blunt_Sarcastic: When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you.
@Breadery: There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night.
@KeetPotato: [guy driving the same kia waves as he passes us] son: why did that man wave at you me: because we've both made the same mistakes in life son