@GrillinChillin9: Whoever the first person was to throw shit in to a fan must have had a lot of explaining to do afterwards.
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@Elizasoul80: [my husband turning onto our street] "know what I think?" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. "we've been down this road before"
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food.
@audipenny: Oh no I got so excited that you texted me that I accidentally replied 11 thousand times and then swung into your house on a rope