@whisperedjoy: Whomever came up with the saying "Make love not war" was obviously not married.
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@UncleDuke1969: Lawrence starts cooking Lawrence checks Twitter Lawrence smells smoke Lawrence Fishburne
@QwertyJones3: Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don't think that's a... Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!
@TheBoydP: Fact: A good beer will not lose its label after sitting in a cooler of ice water all week. Related: Why is there still beer in the cooler??