@michaeljhudson: Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I'll just use this dry paper and call it good.
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@Playing_Dad: Pizza Hut: Hello Me: I'd like a hot dog bites pizzas PH: Pick up or delivery? Me: Based on that order, you think I get off the couch?
@Black__Elvis: I was a bit upset that the condom I found in my wallet had expired but at the end of the day I'm just glad my wallet practices safe sex.