@RobertJrDowney: Who's idea was it to package scissors in a package what requires scissors to open.
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@thatUPSdude: I'm not saying all my friends are Pot Heads But we did have a 2 hour discussion on how Sponge Bob Grills underwater
@SarcasticAlly12: I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters
@abbycohenwl: "It's a banana in my pocket" "May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?" *averts eyes* "I'm glad to see you"
@causticbob: Jay-Z is actually the 26th generation of the Jay family, which dates back to the middle-ages, when Jay-A invented rap.