@RobertJrDowney: Who's idea was it to package scissors in a package what requires scissors to open.
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@Angrea: OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
@CatherineLMK: A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Feel free to name your next kid after me. Coworker: Why would I name my kid “Giant Douchebag?”
@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing