@jake_lach: Who's the idiot that made it Killer whale and not Panda shark
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@MomOnFire: Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to "air quote," I need to speak with you privately.
@KeetPotato: [my first day hosting shopping channel] "for those of you who love coconut, boy do we have a product for you" [holds up a coconut]
@the_tsai_guy: If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake.