@thestlouisan: Who's the idiot who named the song 'The Sound of Silence' and not
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@ilovepie84: " So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore" Me if I was on the Titanic.
@pharmasean: [At maternity ward] Me: is this where babies are delivered Nurse: Yes Me: You ought to be ashamed. Babies need their livers
@Aspersioncast: Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?