@thestlouisan: Who's the idiot who named the song 'The Sound of Silence' and not
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@ilovepie84: I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am.
@jonnysun: im more than just a birth year and a death year so my tombstone will instead be engraved with a handful of random years i remember enjoying
@JosesLovesYou: *barges into bank with guns drawn Alright everyone now be cool and no one gets hurt! *hands out sunglasses all around Nice. Nice.
@tararose711: My 3yo's bedtime stories include: "Three-Hour Run-On Sentence," followed by, "Ask For a Drink 500 Times," and finally, "You Skipped a Page."