@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
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@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Do you like Star Wars? ME: Of course HER: Which character do you identify with? ME: *leans in close* The complete void of space
@mynameisntdave: ME: [riding a horse on a carousel] weeeeee! AIRLINE SECURITY: [into radio] god dammit, he's back and he brought a horse with him this time