@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
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@sophielou: My shetland pony was all black and we called him Midnight. His sister was not quite as dark and her name was Eleven Thirty.
@thepaulahunt: Autocorrect changed "I'll see you in a while" to "I'll see you in a hole", and now I'm being questioned by the police.
@Reverend_Scott: You see two puppies. "Awwwww!" But they're cannibal puppies! "Ahhhhhhh!" One puppy eats the other! "Ewwwww!" Then he takes a nap. "Awwwww!"