@TheTweetOfGod: "Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?" - Mary Magdalene.
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@flashember: COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. "polargeists" [very sad robot noises]
@FilthyRichmond: Pregnant women go through a "nesting" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed.
@thatdutchperson: *strips naked* "Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Cops: he knows we can see him from this side, right?