@bobvulfov: why are bouquets only for flowers? why not a bouquet of hot dogs. or a bouquet of hot dogs with ketchup. or a bouquet of hot dogs with musta
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@sarcasticmommy4: My son gave me a list of things he'd like in his Easter basket. This isn't Christmas, kid. Do you want a chocolate bunny or not?
@dril: glorious crime spree after being fired from wal mart., expertly hopping fences, chugging all the seeds out of my neighbors bird feeders,
@Taryn_: Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions.
@qwertying: Husband: [sends text] We need to break up. Wife: [sends text] WTF! Husband: [sends text] Sorry. That was meant to go to someone else.