@SarcasticAlly12: Why are ghosts always just moaning? Did your manners die too? Use your words!
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@jessokfine: If someone walks in on you hatching your evil plan, just tell them you were rubbing in some hand moisturizer.
@JaneBadall: My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky.
@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.
@pizza_dragon: Give a dad a fish and save him a trip to Costco. Teach a dad to fish and you can throw wild parties while he's away on fishing weekends.