@Jesssicle: Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already.
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@pickupIines: are you my pinky toe because i'll bang you on all my furniture
@treywafer: I put the "m" in illiterate
@AngelaEhh: Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that.
@BeardSpice: My signature move is signing a piece of paper.
@KeetPotato: [optimus prime chasing his gf to the front door] but i can change
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