@heatherlou_: Why are people still calling my phone I thought we covered this at orientation...
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you have sloth-like reflexes? ME: *calls interviewer 3 years later* That is correct.
@Dawn_M_: I wrote "except zombies" on my welcome mat so I know I'll be safe during a zombie apocalypse.
@GrantTanaka: [Alien Vs Predator] alien: feeling pretty unwelcome in this country lately predator: oh man look at those cute kids over there