@Swishergirl24: Why are people upset about the Starbucks cup and not the fact that they are paying $7 for coffee?
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@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"
@timdonakowski: Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google.
@ILikeFaucet: Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?