@TimFederle: Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@the_paramedicK: *proposes to girlfriend* *accidentally drops ring in the street* "I'll still marry you" Sorry, I'm married to the streets now
@TheMichaelRock: If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
@panmidwest: INTERVIEWER: strengths? ME: I'm good at presenting both sides of an argument INTERVIEWER: great ME: which could also be a weakness…
@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.