@TimFederle: Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."
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@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
@SkinnieTalls: Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don't even worry about buying the bow.
@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"