@SemFitty: Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins? Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.
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@AGreaterMonster: So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter.
@TrueTorontoGirl: I just witnessed an employee choking on her noodles and now I feel sorry for her husband.
@MommaUnfiltered: Me, 87 times before falling asleep: want to go outside??? Dog: meh Me *falls asleep* Dog: hey stupid wake up I need to go out
@justabloodygame: Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke.