@miss_foofoo: Why are there never any GOOD side effects? Just once I'd like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
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@TheQuietPsycho: *getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out
@MattMcElaney: GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be "uncool" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.
@GrowlyGrego: Got the invite to your wedding. Thanks! Sadly, your blatant overuse of illegible, ornate script fonts means I don't know when or where it is
@KeetPotato: [schmoozing at fancy dinner] me: im a private investigator wife: you're allowed to say gynaecologist, keith me: people are eating, linda