@andyerikson: Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?
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@Tmoney68: [2 T-Rex's getting drunk] "I'm wasted." "Me too. You know how bad?" "Don't say it again." "I can't feel my face." "Goddammit, Kevin."
@HonestToddler: Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
@saxbot: 9 out of 10 people agree that it's weird to stand on top of the toilet and ask them survey questions over the stall wall.
@HelloJessicaFox: If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies