@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.

@ilovepie84: I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait.

@ch000ch: my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot

@CindyMeakin: I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for.

@sexncake: My favourite mythical creature is the happy woman in the tampon adverts