@Cryptic1iam: Why are they called condoms and not woody hoodies?
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@Jake_Vig: When someone compliments you, etiquette dictates that you respond with "That is accurate."
@martyntanton: Just been banned from my church's Easter service. Apparently the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't "Ta-Daa!"
@AdamTheLobster: Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right