@curlymalloy: Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!
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@KeetPotato: me: "i don't appreciate being laughed at" seaworld employee: "sir that's just the noise dolphins make"
@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
@droidbears: fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever
@KentWGraham: Don’t believe cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won’t actually stick to someone’s face.