@curlymalloy: Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!
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@eric10F: Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair
@JustDontBugMe: American: Say Aboot or Sorey? You say words so weird. Canadian: Yeah eh. Does saying Free health care hurt your feelings?
@KeetPotato: me: "i don't appreciate being laughed at" seaworld employee: "sir that's just the noise dolphins make"
@iwearaonesie: How people watch movies when they’re: DATING *hold hands* ENGAGED *cuddle* MARRIED *one person turns the volume up when I’m choking on a piece of popcorn*