@vmochama: why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
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@urmumsausername: At first I was afraid I'd be electrified I dropped a knife over my toaster now it's trapped inside & I spent oh so many minutes Thinking how to right this wrong The current's strong Will I be dead before too long?
@KeetPotato: [exchanging xmas gifts] me: "if you dont open it you can never be disappointed can you?" schrödinger: "i feel like i brought this on myself"
@TheAlexNevil: Remember, parents: your children look to you for guidance. Kids are dumb like that.
@thrillhicks: I ran into the guy who delivered my pizzas a couple nights ago at a concert and he didn’t even remember who I was. Never meet your heroes.