@dixonshuman: Why aren't marriage prevention hotlines a thing?
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@jnrbtsn: I don't discriminate among size guys. Personally my favorite is 3 inches and goes by the name visa, mc, or amex.
@GriffonTaylonYo: Barista: Can I get a name? Me: Free [Later] Barista: I've got a caramel macchiato for Free *fights break out as I smile from the corner*
@NYC_Blonde: I've kissed so many frogs trying to find a prince that I've actually discovered several new species.
@Donna_McCoy: My husband keeps watching a tv show while complaining about how boring it is, & now I understand how he's stayed married to me for so long.