@dixonshuman: Why aren't marriage prevention hotlines a thing?
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@dshack8: At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor.
@Smooheed: A friend described me as a 'no maintenance' type And I have no idea whether to be happy or offended
@skickwriter: Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone