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@dixonshuman: Why aren't marriage prevention hotlines a thing?
@JaiyeJones: Here's an olive branch. Please choke on it.
@weinerdog4life: *interrupts dinner
"IS THAT CLOCK REALLY YOUR GRANDFATHER!?"
@IntoxicaTweeted: If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA.
@ElleOhHell: "Uhm, EXCUSE me, my eyes are out HERE." -- Hammerhead sharks
@goodreads: Just one more chapter! (via @someecards)